Something I’ve been saying over and over the past few weeks has been, “It’s all happening,” usually followed up with an “Ahh!!!!!!” Like, holy moly, the 20s are a real thing that just sneak up on you and slap you in the face with reality. You find out what you want don’t want, what you do want and what you need.
I’ve done a lot of cool things in the past few months and I feel like it’s just the beginning of something. I’m stupid excited for everything, but terrified all at once. It’s a cool feeling.
I went on quite a few dates with one guy and I was having a blast. I wasn’t reading too much into it (or so I’d like to think) and was just happy to have someone to hang with and share stories and do fun things with. It was awesome. He was funny in a snarky way, had a good job that I liked to hear about and an all around fun and good dude. My roommate just started dating a super awesome guy (👋👋) and we decided it’d be fun to go to a hockey game on a double date! I was excited because I’m just such a hockey fan (loljk) but to just do something new.
Then he dropped the line.
The God damn line I’ve heard over and over.
“I think you’re awesome, and I’ve been having so much fun, but…”
If I hear that line one more time, I think I’ll keel over and die. Yeah, dude. I know I’m awesome. I know this. I think you’re awesome too, which is why I wanted to hang. Anything after the “but” just turns into white noise for me because I have heard this since high school. I don’t want to be just friends, ’cause trust me, I’ve got plenty of ’em and I can’t be friends with someone I’ve been on dates with. I can’t do a pseudo dating thing, and try as I may, I just don’t think I can take it. I can’t do in between, and to be honest, I think that’s fine. I wasn’t trying to make him my boyfriend, I was just seeing how things would play out. But I mean, it’s better to cut your losses early in the game before you get stupid over someone. Yeah, I was bummed and cried a bit, but only because I was embarrassed and he was cool.
I’m over it now, but at the time it sucked. So that’s something I don’t want; pseudo dating or the “but.”
I went on a date later that week with a dude who was really funny, smart, and a total gentleman. I had a blast and wished the date lasted forever, but alas, he lives in Denver. COME ON. One of these days I’ll meet a guy in this zip code.
Since my first taste of stand up, I’ve hit the stage a few more times. I love it. I love the rush I get before I get before I walk on, I love jotting down my jokes in a cute little notebook all week, I love making people laugh and I love everything about it. I know it’s only been a few open mics, but it is something I didn’t know I could actually do. Now that I’ve been doing it, I want to keep it up. Every situation in my day is like a punchline for a joke. I’ve just been so excited to write things down and run them by a friend and then do it on stage. I don’t know where it’s going to take me, and that’s fine, I just know I want it. The encouragement from my friends has been amazing and I am so happy. I want to learn everything about it and I want to be good at it. I want this to be a regular thing for me and I want to call all of my elementary school teachers and tell them that my “inappropriate behavior” has paid off.
You know when you drive your car and it shakes over 40 mph and smells like gas and sometimes when you go over a speed bump, you hear this loud metal on concrete sound?
Apparently this isn’t a normal happening. I tried to ignore it as long as I could because this little birdy is finally leaving the comfort of her parent’s financial nest and has to pay for everything on her own. I’m a little late to that party, but dang, why is everything so expensive?
It was time to put my Taurus to rest and move onto a new car, one that people weren’t terrified to ride in. I have been researching cars for like five months and knew what I could afford, and what I couldn’t. (The price of Maseratis have just risen this past year!) So after I saved, (read “tax refund”) I was ready to actually go check out some autos.
I brought my dad along with me because I felt like if I was to do this on my own, I’d walk out with an Escalade, and it was fun. We went to CarMax first but I wasn’t digging anything. Also, they had so many Toyota Yarises, it was overwhelming. WHO IS DRIVING THESE?? My dad was looking at one and goes, “They’re pretty nice!” To which I replied, “You want me to get married, right?” His response, “Well, sure. If you found a guy who liked you in this, he’d think you’re practical.”
Yeah, because that’s how I want to be described.
“Hey, man. Just started dating this chick. She is so practical. She eats turkey sandwiches every day, has a great collection of turtle necks and drives a Yaris. She is so practical. I can’t wait to eat vanilla pudding with her my whole life.”
So I didn’t go with a Yaris.
I got a nice little Corolla. Perfect price. Perfect everything. I call her my Beige Beauty, because she’s…beige. Wait, what was I saying about practical earlier? Yeah, I know. Anyway, I love it and I needed it. I’m on my own auto insurance and bought my own car with my own money and I’m excited. It’s just something I needed to do to feel a little bit more grown up and on my own.
Finally, I feel like things are falling into place and it’s good. I’m hopeful for what’s to come and I’m feelin’ awesome. So seriously, if you plan on shitting on my good feeling, I will snap on you so fast.
But really. I like what I’ve got goin’ on and I’m gonna keep it up.