The End of an Era … and the Beginning of a New One

All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go…

More like my crap’s not even boxed up and I’m moving things to my new apartment over the course of a weekend and I’ll slowly start to piece my new digs together.  It’s an exciting time and I’m so ready for it.

Living with my current roommate has been nothing short of a blast. We get along great. We have the best time together and we have taught each other lessons along the way. There’s nothing I would change about our year together, only that maybe we could have had a few more girl’s nights.

How many people can say that about their roommate? That they wished they spent more time together? My roommate is the girl I could be stuck in an elevator with for 9 hours and we wouldn’t strangle each other. She’s the one I love walking with and talking about how we’d spend our million dollars if we won the lottery. (I’d make a nap room in my new house, if anyone wanted to know.) She’s the one I want to watch Lifetime with all day on the couch and eat a big dumb pizza with.  She’s the one I want to drink too much wine with at a happy hour and she’s the one who taught me to think a little bit more with my noggin instead of my squishy heart. (I’d like to think I taught her a thing or two, too. 😉 )

I’m a lucky gal.

I’m lucky and fortunate to have had such a great roommate, but this mama gotsta spread dem wings and get to bein’ an independent chick. Yeah, the idea still kind of terrifies me because I’ll be totally on my own, but I think that’s when you learn the most about yourself.

I lived alone for a spell my last year of college. I loved having my own schedule and answering only to myself. I loved having my little morning ritual. I learned that I frequently leave things in random places thinking that I’ll pick them up later and then when I see them there, I get mad and think it was someone else, but then remember that nope, it was just me. I learned that I forget to buy paper towels a lot and will resort to using a T-Shirt. WHAT?! Don’t act like you’re better than me! I learned that I can watch an obscene amount of Netflix and not talk to anyone for hours. That’s definitely something I’ll miss about having my good ole roomie, just shootin’ the bull at our kitchen table over a cup of tea before bed. We might repeat the same stuff night after night, but hey, it’s what we do and I love it.

As I’ve been packing up my crap, (HOW DO I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF?!) I’ve tossed a ton of things that serve no purpose to me and have been cognizant about keeping things that I’ll most definitely use. I’m that girl who keeps things because “maybe I’ll use it later” and then the next time the closet cleaning comes around, I’ll still not have used it. So I tossed a lot of things for good. Deuces, weird sweater that I tried to wear at least 3 times but talked myself out of because it hit on a weird part of my body.

I have a box that I’ve had for years with letters and notes friends and family have written me. I look at it when I’m feeling sentimental or blue. There are pictures from kids I babysat with sweet notes like “u R cool” and pictures of suns with sunglasses.

In that box, I also have love letters from my ex. When we were dating, they’d make me cry because they were true and full of love. During the break up, I’d read them and I’d cry because they were bullshit and I wanted to light them on fire and I hated him. Now that I’m over it and good, I just gave a shrug and ripped ‘em up and threw ‘em away.

Just like that.

It felt so nice. It wasn’t bra-burning-liberating or anything, more like if I was tearing up expired coupons. Like expired coupons, they served me no purpose. They didn’t make me feel anything. They didn’t make me excited or happy. They didn’t make me sad or Dashboard Confessional-ish, but totally neutral.

I’m not gonna lie. I read them, laughed, then did the thumbs down and made a fart noise with my mouth before I tossed them. But still. They gone.  (Hand waving emoji.)

I’ve been reading a lot about energy (gettin’ my spiritual on, know whaddeye mean) and I think moving to a new place with a new beginning will be great. I’ll be getting rid of some bad vibes that the old apartment had and moving onto something that I can morph into my own. I’m going to take this as an opportunity to create my own space that makes me feel comfortable and I’ll know it’s only mine. I can fill it with whatever I want and I can choose the mood and environment.  Maybe before I move in, I’ll burn some sage just to get rid of the previous bad vibes. Wait, what?

It’s an older apartment building that has a lot of charm but just got redone. I’d like to take this opportunity to use a metaphor and say that my apartment is like me. (Oh, fresh.) It still has its flaws and its dings, but it’s been buffed up and ready for the next thing to come its way.

Will I miss my old apartment? Oh, absolutely. Will I feel good about Hannahfying my new one? You betcha.

The cats are super confused about what’s happening, but they’re going to have a new place too! They get their own room and I’m buying them a cat tree because my new apartment has a lot of windows for them to sit in and bask in the sun!!

Oh god.

I didn’t say that.

I mean. The cats are cool with the move, I guess.  Who knows? I don’t talk to them or ask them if they’re excited.

So I’m embracing this move and I will show you my excitement through the form of a gif.

giphy

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