The past three weeks have been so humbling and fun. I’ve been surrounded by people I love and who love me and it has been great. I found myself wondering, “Man, what do shitty people do?” or “What do people do who have shitty friends?” I honestly didn’t know how to answer it because I don’t think I’ve really ever been in a position where I have felt that people didn’t support me.
Yeah, we’ve all been through the middle school phase when we have friends who are just trying to stay in the gel hair, American Eagle graphic t grind and have been shitty to you, but honestly, I haven’t had a low feeling about my friends and family in so long. I am truly blessed. Dawwwwww.
Two weekends ago, I spent a lot of time volunteering at The Ronald McDonald House and I have really enjoyed my time there. I switched up my schedule so I could actually see the families and help out with them, so I went in right after work Friday evening and stayed till around 8:30. Everything was going well until I put my sign in sheet back in the folder box. A familiar name popped up and I about died. It was my ex’s current girlfriend.
Oh for the love.
Of course this would happen to me. Just when I’m truly enjoying something that is building me up and making a positive impact in my life, I’m reminded of the partial reason I’ve been bummed for so long.
In pure Hannah fashion, I totally kept my cool. Loljk. I did, but I was actually pitting out and stuttering. I asked the coordinator if this girl ever really volunteers and she said she didn’t even know her and saw that she hadn’t been at the house since February. Ah, well. Dats cool. She won’t be back anytime soon. No worries.
Yeah, well. Nah.
Since the holidays are just around the corner, the house needs a lot of help. There’s a sheet with plenty of sign ups and whose name is at the top with my ex’s? Yeah. Balls. I decided to be proactive about this, so I just emailed the director and asked to not be scheduled with them because of the awkward situation. She apologized for the world being so small and said that there would be no issue. So, cool. Murder avoided. I mean awkwardness. Whatever.
It’s not like I hate her or anything, but I don’t want to know anything about her. She did some pretty shady things while my ex and I were dating and they started dating right after we broke up, so I mean, I don’t exactly wanna hang with her. It would bring up feelings I don’t want to have and from what I know about her, she’s super boring, and I can’t have that draggin’ me down.
That Sunday, I had my final show for my improv class and it was a blast! I was so happy to do it and I was warmed by my friends who came to see me and my ragtag crew of improvers do our thang. Surprisingly, I got over my nervousness and just went with it. I usually get super anxious about public speaking or anything like that, but improv has kind of taught me to get over myself and just go with it. Improv has also taught me to shut up. More often than not, I find myself just talk, talk, talking and I have struggled with just shutting up. It’s kinda been my thing since I was little. So, I have tried to just be quiet and let someone else get a word in, because my words are often just blabs.
After the show, my friend who just quit her job to fly by the seat of her pants and travel the world for a year, (seriously? I have the coolest friends) and I went to the Shakey Graves and met up with another friend. It was perfect. The openers were amazing and talented and their passion for performing just shined. I found myself wondering if I have that same spark in my eye while I enter in insurance benefits…
A piece of advice if you’re ever grumpy or have the blues, you need to hang with kids. With permission given to you by their parents, of course. I had my 2 cousins who are 7 and 4 come over last Saturday for some hang time and we had so much fun. I’m not sure what it is about kids that make me feel so great, but every time I have a little sesh with kids, I feel better. Beau, the 4 year old, is just so excited to do things and to help, it made baking a lot of fun. Ollie, who’s 7, has this crazy noggin that is always thinking and sometimes makes me nervous about my own intelligence.
This week, I had the flu. You know the flu where every part of your body hurts and even standing in the shower makes you want to die? That was me all week. The shakes, the shivers, the night sweat. Oy. Sat out yoga all week, which was a bummer, but I’m ready to get back at it this coming week. Gotta prep the body for the Christmas chow.
Kind of a side note, but something that made me super proud of myself this week was that I finally mastered making over-easy eggs.
Wow, Hannah. You’re so accomplished. Please enlighten us with your unending talents, you modern day miracle worker.
I know. Doesn’t seem that awesome, but for me it was my middle finger to my ex. He always made me over-easies because I could never get the flip down and I’d make the yolks crack. Well, last week, I did it. I didn’t do the awesome flip, but I gained control over the spatula and I got my eggs perfect. I let out a cheer of excitement and threw a middle finger in the air. I think it’s moments like that remind me that it’s all good. I got this. Even if it was something as small as eggs.
Dem eggs were delish, too. 👍
To make a full circle and connect all my dots, I want to touch on the the fact that I truly have the best friends and family. There hasn’t been a time all year that I have felt alone and felt like I didn’t have someone to talk to. My friends have answered late night calls, texts and have just been there. It’s amazing. And they have such wise advice, too! Like holy moly, some of them had to be monks in a past life because the words of wisdom they give me are helpful and so true, it’s just wonderful. I’ve found myself the past 3 weeks just feeling so loved and so grateful for everyone in my life, it’s made me so happy. I’m a lucky gal.