Thanks Doe

In the spirit of Thanksgiving and my lack of blog ideas, I thought I’d take the time to write short thank you notes to people and things that I’m truly thankful for. I’m channeling my inner Jimmy Fallon here, so let’s see how it works out.

Dear Vanessa,

Thank you for hopping on the roller coaster that is my life. Thank you for holding the figurative barf bag and being there when things have gotten dicey. Thanks for party girl dancing the whole time and dealing with my cats. Sorry they fuzz on ya.

Love,
Joey

Dear Google,

Thank you for not judging me for my searches. I don’t know how I’m a fully functioning adult, either.

Love,
“Why does my cat follow me everywhere” searcher

Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you for answering my phone calls and listening to my whining about my life. Thank you for not asking questions when I was going through my break up. Thank you for picking me up from places and not asking questions why I was there. Thank you for letting me cry and slam Bud Heavys in gray on gray sweatpants when I saw my ex with his girlfriend. Thank you for sharing your stories of when you were growing up and going through similar things in life. Thanks for falling in love and showing me that life will be good.

Love,
Your daughter

Dear Pandora,

Thank you for allowing me to listen to Dr Dre radio and Taylor Swift radio in the same hour and not suggesting I’m a confused 12 year old girl living in Compton.

Love,
Girl who skips over This Is How We Do, but gives a thumbs up to Shake It Off

Dear Yoga,

Thank you for clearing my head when all it does is wander. Thank you for showing me that I can move my body in weird ways that I thought only fit girls on Instagram were capable of. Thank you for giving me inner peace. Thank you for giving me balance. Thank you for giving my booty a nice lift (soon, I’ll bounce a quarter off it).

Love,
Girl Who Sweats and Smiles and Falls Asleep at the End of Class

Dear Pizza,

Thanks for being available for me to eat at breakfast, lunch and dinner. You’re the real MVP.

Love,
Girl Who Eats You When She’s Happy and Sad

Dear Gracie,

Thanks for being my best friend even though I’m so blue and you’re so orange. Thanks for always being as silly as you are beautiful. Thanks for shoving Keegan Niccom into a locker that time he called me fat in high school. That kid is still a douche, I’m sure. Thank you for being so supportive and positive throughout our friendship. Thanks for driving my car through fields. Thanks for waking me up from naps to get ice cream.

Love,
Nostalgic Tee

Dear People Who Eat With Your Mouths Open,

Thank you for teaching me patience as I watch you eat like a dog eating spaghetti. Thank you for showing me that it is possible to be a grown adult and make noises from your mouth that I thought could only come from a creature in a Doctor Seuss book. Thank you for showing me what’s in your mouth as you chomp through it with your dumb, gaping hole.

Not so much love,
Girl Who Wants Your Head To Explode

Dear Collin,

Thank you for always flexing your big bro cool muscle. Thanks for terrifying my high school dating prospects, I didn’t want to date them anyway. Thanks for always laughing at my weirdness and never asking why I be the way I be. Thanks for walking to the library with me and renting Silence of the Lambs on spring break in elementary school. Thank you for being a big ole softy and giving me tough love at the same time.

Love,
Mushu

Dear Tinder,

Thank you for showing me the men ages 24-30 in my area who come in all shapes and sizes and genuinely make me feel scared for my life. Thank you for introducing me to some nice men who have taken me on some fun dates and never called me back. Thank you for showing me the man market in Los Angeles. Thank you for giving me the courage to swipe right on a cute boy who has a love for Yuengling and who still somehow likes me even though I have so many weird things. Thank you for giving me an ego stroke on days when I am wearing sweatpants.

Love-ish,
Girl Who Deletes You Then Redownloads You On Lonely Days

Dear Tuesday Students,

Thank you for letting me teach you. Thank you for sharing your stories in English and showing up for class with the will to learn. Thank you for making me smile so big on my drive home. Thank you for inviting me to spend time with your friends and family while you celebrate. Thank you for laughing at me when I have no idea what you’re saying. Thank you for warning me and telling me the salsa is hot and getting me water when it makes my nose run. Thank you for sharing your guacamole recipe with me… Maybe one day you’ll make it? Eh? Eh? You make me so happy.

Love,
Su Professor

Dear Friends and Family,

Thank you for reading this. Thank you for being there for my laughs and my cries and everything in between. Thank you for listening to my rambles and insights. Thank you for growing with me and still wanting to hang out even though you know my life is a little bananas. And if I didn’t give you a personal shout out, please don’t be offended. You know I love ya and will probably find a way to mention you on here 😊

Love,
Hannah

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Less Cats, More Men

It’s been a week since my lovely friend said “I do,” and I gotta say, it was a wedding for the books. Seeing her and her now husband so in love was a wonderful feeling. You know how in movies they say they watch the groom watch the bride walk down the aisle, well, I wouldn’t recommend that for the faint hearted, because if you’re like me, you’ll turn into a puddle of tears and cry as a bridesmaid in front of the guests. I watched Jenny walk down with her proud father and looked at her look at her groom and then I looked at her groom look at her and that was it. Moonbeams galore. (For the record, I only cried 3 times.)

The moonbeams continued throughout the ceremony despite the goofy Will Ferrell-esque officiant and in 7 short minutes, they were Mr. and Mrs. Riehm.

Let me rewind to the morning of the wedding and getting ready with the maids. I had the best time primping and priming at the salon with the girls. The feeling of sitting in a styling chair with a hot coffee and a lady you’re paying to make your hair look better than the style you found on Pinterest must be like the high people got from doing coke at Studio 54, because holy moly, I could do that every day of my life. The throwback tunes playing while we chatted about the day and everything else just added to the perfect day that was to come.

I got the chance to catch up with the Maid of Honor and it was so perfect. She is one of those friends you meet and you know you want her to be a friend for life because everything she does and is, is positive and unselfish. I felt so grateful to be surrounded by some of the best people and knowing that one of my best friends chose these people to stand next to her on her big day.

Anywhoser. Back to the weddin’. We all hopped on a party bus to kick off the night and I’m not sure what it is, but DMX truly knows how to get the party started. We bopped on the bus and headed to the reception. It was one of the best receptions because there wasn’t a time the dance floor was empty. I was cuttin’ a rug all night and even though I am more uncoordinated than a baby giraffe on rollerskates, a groomsmen still twirled me around all night. (I still feel bad for stepping on his feet a couple times 😳)

I came home around 1 am and hit the bed hard. I was sore all day Sunday from moving muscles I hadn’t moved (and probably moved incorrectly) in a long time. I volunteered and came back for a lazy Sunday with my roommate.

So, on Tuesdays I teach English with 8-12 Spanish speaking adults and it is probably the highlight of my week. It’s definitely one of those things where they are teaching me more than I’m teaching them and the feeling I get from being in class with them is one that I haven’t had in a long, long time. My heart just bursts when I see them understanding something and I love chatting with them because they are just little birds now and just chirp in English. Anyway, they have asked me a million times if I have a boyfriend and I’ve said no and not really given them an explanation. They also know I have 2 cats because I have shown them pictures and have told them stories.

Well, I think I must have hit a point in my cat lady life because I was telling a story about Opie that I thought was hilarious and one of them had this serious look on her face. She looked at me with the look your mother gives you when she is genuinely concerned and said, “Hannah, you are too pretty to have more cats than men. Less cats, more men.”

Oh boy.

With that being said, I will turn down the cat talk and up my dude talk. I guess it’s come to that point. I thought it’d be a little more drastic, like I would be that girl who adopts 4 cats and has a cat room with cat trees and dresses them according to holidays, but I guess it was just one extra story about my roommate and I putting tape on the cats. Yeesh.

So, if anyone knows any dudes who would like a gal like me, give him my digits. Maybe. No, don’t. Wait, yes. Do. No, don’t. I don’t know.

Anyway, that was my week. I wish I could be a part of a friend’s wedding every week because I love the love and there really isn’t a feeling better than the warm fuzzies from love and beautiful friendships.

*Disclaimer: no more cats will be discussed on the blog. I’ll save that for my Snap Chat. Wait, no. Yes. No. Yes.*

I’ll Fiiiiiiiiiind You

Well, I survived my first outing sober as a judge. Actually, that would have been a good Halloween costume, but I went as sushi, which was a blast. I was a little on the fence about going out, especially considering that it was Halloween, but seeing as I suffer from serious FOMO (Fear of missing out), I met up with a girlfriend from work and went to a party with her crew.

So the thing about being sober at a party is that you notice everything. I also suffer from a bad case of people watching, so this was like a gold mine. Not only were people drinking like Civil War soldiers preparing to get their limbs sawed off, but Holy Moses, they were loud. The music was played at an appropriate level, but everyone was just shouting their thoughts. Like not even good thoughts, just thoughts. I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m guilty of this when I hit the sauce, because I have seen snapchats, read texts and have just said my thoughts aloud to myself when no one was listening, ya know, like a normal drunk. I also noticed the dancing. Everyone has the confidence of Beyoncé and it is actually pretty cool to see everyone cut a rug with such chutzpah because there’s no way I look that awesome sober dancing.

We hit the bars and went downtown. It was a blast seeing all of the costumes and seeing how creative everyone could get. I feel like people are trying to be funnier instead of out hotting each other, which is awesome. I didn’t partake in any of the shots that were offered to me, and no one batted an eye, so that was cool. I don’t think it’ll be that hard to not drink and go out and about. Now, will I be a Sober Sally and hit the town every weekend? Absolutely not. But I’ll totally dabble every once in a while.

I will add this, though. My apartment building just added a 20% discount to my nacho run place and it took every fiber of my sober being to say no to the glorious delicacy that is 2 am nachos. Dats some self control.

Moving on.

Now, I’m not sure if it’s because I bought the new TSwift CD (don’t even knock it. It’s amazing and my only regret is I didn’t buy the deluxe addition), but I have seriously just been bummed and in a weird place with the dating deal.

And when I say dating deal, I mean it in the loosest way possible, because I’m not dating anyone. At all. I’m just out here being me on my own and for some reason, I’ve developed an issue with it. Like what happened to my I’m Independent, I Don’t Need No Man Hannah? A couple of weeks ago, I was totally cool and embracing being single but now all I want to do is listen to Dashboard and wonder what’s wrong with me, or at least have a dude to tell me nothing is wrong with me and eat pizza and watch Tommy Boy with me. I think fall is definitely the season of love because everyone seems to start dating in fall and then cozy up for winter together.

The thing is, I’m not bitter at all towards people who have someone, I’m happy for them! I want them to feel the fuzzies but at the same time, I want fuzzies and the make-ya-feel-dumb-when-I-talk-to-you feeling. I know I said last week I wasn’t ready to date, but maybe I am. I ran into a friend from high school on Halloween and she was with her boyfriend who she started dating this summer. They have known each other forever and just now started dating! They were absolutely adorable together and just having a blast and completely glowing. So now I’m wondering if I have had a dude in front of my nose and haven’t noticed and now we are going to fall in love. If you’re out there, guy I’ve known forever, I’ll find you. (Read that in the girl from Wedding Crashers’ voice and then forget I said it because I don’t want you to think I’m a weirdo).

I’m in one of my best friend’s weddings this weekend and I am over the moon excited! I can’t wait to see her marry her best friend! I’ve been tanning for it because I thought I had the dark hair, pale skin like Nancy Botwin from Weeds look, but it was mostly just dark hair with skin so white, I’d be one of those dots on those ghost shows and wouldn’t actually look like a person in the pictures. I gotta say, I’m actually kind of privy to the latter because my cheeks are just fried and I feel out of place. Anyway, that was completely unnecessary but whatever.

This weekend will be a blast! Can’t wait to see everyone and my friend become a Mrs!! ☺️☺️