Turn Down For What

So it’s been a spell since I’ve written, but not a whole lot has happened, to be honest. I guess the main thing is telling my friends I’m not drinking for a bit. It’s pretty cool to see all of the support. I think it’s because of the age I’m at. People are getting a bit tired of the whole boozing thing and doing the same stuff every weekend. When I gave up drinking for 10 weeks in college, people were all up in a tizzy asking why I wasn’t drinking and their immediate assumption was that I was with child. Surprisingly no one has asked me that yet. And the answer is no, for the smart asses who were going to ask. 😊

Something that I can say I appreciate about not drinking is this. What I’m doing right now. I went to bed at 9:30 on a Friday after reading an amazing book (TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!) and I woke up naturally and with a clear head. I didn’t have to scroll through my phone to see embarrassing texts or dried guacamole on my chin from 2 am nacho runs. I didn’t wake up in last night’s clothes or odd wristbands reminding me of where I went. Instead I woke up to my two moron cats chasing each other around the room and drool sticking my hair to my face because I was that conked out.

I woke up, browsed my Instagram, put away the dishes from the dishwasher, made some coffee and came out to my patio to do this on my iPad with some Grace Potter Pandora. I’m going to yoga later to get my stretch on because I gotta be lookin’ fly for Jenny’s wedding! I have an orientation with The Ronald McDonald House at 1 because that’s where I decided to do my volunteer work, and that’s my little day. I’m excited. It’s lame and not super crazy, but these are the mornings I actually adore and otherwise wouldn’t do because I’d be all grumpy and hung over.

Now what I will say is this. I’m going to miss the nights that I went on my 2 am nacho runs. I’m going to miss the happy hours that turn from 1 glass to a bottle then bed at 9. I honestly have some of the best times doing those things and I have great company. I’m going to miss my party girl dancing at the wedding and I’ll have to deal with my normal awkward dancing that’s not fueled by the champagne. Can you even handle the hip sways?

And that’s what will be the most difficult I think.

I’m basically going to do everything in normal Hannah fashion. I know, that might sound sad or depressing to read, but hear me out. Up until now, basically all of my social events circulate around some sort of boozery. Meeting someone after work? Happy hour. Going on a first date? Drink a glass while getting ready, go out for drinks or dinner and drinks. Watching a football game? Yeah, you’re drinking a bloody. Baby shower/wedding shower? Mimosas on mimosas. Bad day at work? That after work beer and sinking into your couch beer. I’m not even going to touch on college drinking because it’s just sauce central.

I’m actually a little nervous for all of these events. I’m not even sure I want to date anyone now, but if I did, how would I even meet him? I deleted Tinder (it just got weird) and I’m not going to be out and about at bars, which is where a lot of the dudes hang, so I’m a little nervous. Will I just have to hang out in the produce aisle and put out the vibe? Just go to the grocery store in full make up and yoga pants and go up to a dude and ask the best recipe for chicken parm? How does this work? How me date?

So I’m trying to fill my schedule with fun stuff that doesn’t have booze. I mean, I could fill my yoga water bottle with some cucumber infused vodka and make it a boozy activity if I wanted to, but if I did that, I would really want someone to drag my yoga-aspiring-butt to an addiction clinic. So, I’m going to do positive things sans fire water and just work on being clear. I really hope I’m not coming off as snooty or better than anyone, because I am not better than anyone. I’m just trying to be the best Hannah I can be and do this for me. I’ll be the best DD and I’ll remember your nights, even if you don’t want me to. Don’t worry, I won’t tell you if you don’t wanna hear it.

The book I’m reading now was recommended by a friend and I cannot tell you how much I love it. The Seven Levels of Intimacy by Matthew Kelly, is a wonderful and refreshing book that encourages you to be the best self you can. In order to do that, you have to take a deep look at all of your relationships, this includes the one you have with yourself and take a step back and see how everything falls in place. Kelly encourages change as well as stability and love, as well as breaking up. This book has given me the words I didn’t know I needed to read. It’s given me a chance to think about my attitude and how I am around others and how my attitude and personality can effect everything I do, from work to yoga to eating. It’s amazing and I recommend it to everyone.

I’ll leave you with my favorite quote so far.

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